It's highly relevant to pretty much everyone, and has great examples put into situational context. Tannen spends time discussing the importance of metamessage - what we are communicating by the way we communicate. It's a great help in not taking personally situations that would have been previously experienced as hurtful and offensive. It's not going to provide you with handy dandy tips on how to improve your method of communication. One thing to keep in mind is that the book does not offer ways to improve conversations, rather it just details the ways in which conversations might go awry. This is the book that brought gender differences in communication style to the Deborah Tannen is best known as the author of You Just Don't Understand, which was on The New York Times Best Seller list for nearly four years years, including eight months as No.
So each unintentionally drives the other to do more and more of the opposing behavior, in a spiral that drives them both up the wall. Deborah Tannen revolutionized our thinking about relationships between women and men in her 1 bestseller You Just Don't Understand. As long as you can avoid that and take broad theoretical constructs for what they are -- approximations with value only inasmuch as they are useful -- then this book has some fascinating insights to share. She has also made a training video, Talking 9 to 5. I also appreciated her insight on criticism, particularly on giving and receiving second-hand criticism - that both should be refrained from most of the time - as the receiver of criticism does not have the chance to wholly represent themselves and will usually feel marginalized. I absolutely loved this book from the first page. .
I had always thought that I had the best communication style there is: open, honest, straightforward. . I'm surprised it hasn't been fixed in this new edition - but then, maybe nobody bothered to point it out to Tannen before. The problem is the process ; The workings of conversational style ; Conversational signals and devices -- Conversational strategies. At once eye-opening, astute, and vastly entertaining, Tannen's classic work on interpersonal communication will help you to hear what isn't said and to recognize how your personal conversational style meshes or clashes with others. This book was really an eye-opener for me.
It was also on best seller lists in Brazil, Canada, England, Germany, Holland, and Hong Kong. It will give you a new understanding of communication that will enable you to make the adjustments that can save a conversation. It helps one understand how disagreements or misunderstandings occur with plenty of examples which encompass social, racial, gender, and other differences that really can affect how we communicate with one another. It opened my eyes as to why so much is lost in communication. I'm just now revisiting my review of this book. This book was recommended by a woman friend who is very intelligent.
We work on a daily basis to expand our database and make sure that we offer our users as many titles including some pretty rare handbooks and manuals as possible, which is also the reason why you are highly unlikely to find broken links on our website. Many of the concepts Tannen explained seemed perfectly obvious when explained. It was also on best seller lists in Brazil, Canada, England, Germany, Holland, and Hong Kong. It's very easy to digest, easy to understand, and for how short and brief this book is, I think it manages to get across quite a few complex concepts. It gives a name to common causes of miscommunication and could potentially save the reader some relationships that may otherwise be lost due to misunderstanding. Most say they can't wait to finish reading the book so they can make their husband or wife read it.
Regional speech characteristics, ethnic and class backgrounds, age, and individual personality all contribute to diverse conversational styles that can lead to frustration and misplaced blame if ignored--but provide tools to improve relationships if they are understood. So not only are us men ignorant of communication the subject of this book , but we are also conditioned to treat other human beings of both genders in ways that don't promote healthy enjoyment of the human experience. Knowing what conversational style is and how it works gives you a revolutionary new way of understanding what goes on when you talk to others- and that understanding gives you tools you can use when you're not happy with the way a conversation, or a relationships, is going. It made me wonder what Tannen would see in the differences between the style of Johnson and Wilson's testimonies. So I was not blown away by the book, but I did notice that I paid a little more attention to conversational style over the last couple months while I was reading it. There is comfort in being understood and pain in the impossibility of not being understood completely.
Talking about ways of talking. When people talk, we tend to have varying expectations as to what constitutes proper conversation. Tannen does a wonderful job of providing clear, understandable information, in a witty and entertaining tone. Her book, I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids When You're All Adults, received a Books for a Better Life Award. There is not too much by way of strategies for improving your communication.
Conversational style means that this may not be true. In That's Not What I Meant! At home, on the job, in a personal relationship, it's often not what you say but how you say it that counts. It opened my eyes as to why so much is lost in communication. One thing to keep in mind is that the book does not offer ways to improve conversations, rather it just details the ways in which conversations might go awry. If his spouse have been alive and current, it'd be her task to make him eat—or now not consume. Most of the book was very engaging and interesting. This duality reflects the human condition.
After reading the book I am observing language with a new pair of eyes, or shall I say ears. This book also comes from the conversational analysis perspective, although it is not a scholarly text and thus does not actually pick apart a lot of conversations. In the conclusion Tannen suggests that differences in conversational style are important to consider not only in interpersonal communication and relations, but in social relations, and international relations. Harold Silver has spent an entire life staring at his extra profitable more youthful brother, George, collect a covetable spouse, young ones, and a stunning domestic within the suburbs of latest York urban. I read this book when I started grad school years ago.